Friday 18 December 2015

A noisy nativity and perception, or is it qerceqtion?

I was busying in the kitchen making bolognese sauce in a surprise half hour that came my way. It was an emergency bolognese because the mince had been looking at me from a shelf in the fridge for about a week. I put on some carols from King's College. Not very Bolognese but it got me in the mood and helped me enjoy my scattergun chopping and sprinkling and stirring. We'd just got back from the 'noisy nativity' theatre performance at the school in which the dwarfs had featured as donkey and shepherd and the Pea made noisier with her new parakeet shriek. The Lozenge was outside the kitchen in his favourite crafty place which always looks like a tinker's cabin. You have to step over cardboard boxes with wonky holes snipped into them, collect a small pompom or a sticky pipe cleaner on the sole of your shoe as you tackle the obstacle course. That familiar crack as you crunch down on some hidden bubble wrap, and the core control required not to drop the baby as you negotiate. So the Lozenge was crafting away making a vending machine to sell his 'raisin pies', and he  wandered in singing along to Once in Royal David's City with the celotape in his hand, effortlessly hitting that top note: 'Maaaaaary was that mother mild...' smack on, and then asking me to find the end of the tape as he'd lost it again for the fourth time since he started. And then slipped out again in his socks to get on with his job. No idea of the bliss. No idea that this is where it all began. No idea of that feeling which this normal life gives at times, and which I never knew existed until it all began for us.

Back in he came, feeling like a chat about squid. I put down the wooden spoon and sat to listen while the bolognese bubbled.

' Sometimeth, Mummy there is an underwater battle between a sperm whale and a colossal suqid. And the squid...and the squid...Mummy, are you listening...and the squid puts its clawth into the sperm whale. And did you know that there is 2 types of squid. A giant squid, and a colossal squid. And the colossal one is bigger. The colossal squid has hooks and a giant squid just has suckers.'

Trying to get the dwarfs to clear up is a permanent state of play, but we're not allowed to tidy according to the Lozenge, because: 'This, Mummy, is imagination land.' I replied: 'Before you go back to imagination land, maybe we could just tidy this up just a tiny, tiny bit so that we can walk from the big room into the kitchen without coming out the other side looking like the Skip Creature.  'But that won't work Mummeeee!' sang the Lozenge: 'Because imagination land is here all the time. And you know what? Imagination land is a bit of a messy pla-ace!'

It's all about perceptions, according to the Lozenge's lady he goes to see about how he sees things, compared to how they actually are. To the Lozenge a q is sometimes a p and a b sometimes a d. But not always, just sometimes.

And as the learning support lady, who's a really nice Jewish Australian, was talking all about perception and how she can work a little bit on how the Lozenge sees things, I realised that perception is the root of everything because we all perceive things in our own way. People and places are different to all of us. And someone else's truth is sometimes not enough of a reason to change the way you see something. Is that dad or is it bab? A bog or a dog?

I have a necklace I wear which J gave me with the first letters of all my boys' names, and a bead for the Pea. On one disc it says: 'Walk on the Wild Side' which when my dad, or should I say my bab, saw it, he said: 'Oh no, lovie. Not any more. Surely?' But it reminds me that even in a domestic ditch there is a way of finding a little bit of wildness. Not hard with dwarfs and a pea in tow, but also to let the three go occasionally and have a foray on your own.

Hardly wild, some would say. Though for Israeli's it's illegal to go to area A of the 'Wild West Bank'. But for me, Nablus, a northern West Bank town wasn't so wild, but just a small adventure in itself. Enough after a few winks of sleep and two dwarfs and a pea wriggling in the bed and creating static in the dry air so we all looked like the aforementioned pom poms. And a nice small job to do for a friend, who lost his wife earlier this year, and has set up a wonderful foundation in her name, allowing Palestinian refugee girls to go onto further education, which they wouldn't ordinarily be able to afford. Here's what I made for him to inspire more money for the cause:

https://vimeo.com/147870109

She's a lovely girl, Ghaida'a. When I arrived in her front room I was a bit concerned. Her room was beige, her sofas were beige, her long manteau coat covering her lovely 17 year old figure, was beige. Her headscarf was beige, her face was a bit beige, and so was her Mum. I got that sweaty palmed feeling I get when I'm just trying to figure out how to get a spark and a story out of my perception of reality. But when we started to talk, the spark was in her, that was for sure. And her bedroom was pink. And she had a balcony, and a turquoise headscarf in her cupboard.

Not only is she not beige - she's also a role model and one that Palestinian society, even girls, need so much of at the moment. The stabbing attacks have continued. 2 little girls armed with scissors ran at 2 Israeli soldiers trying to attack them. One was shot dead, and the other shot but not killed. It's the new form of suicide because they almost always die these tweeny stabbers. Ghaida'a could have been one of those. What is the difference, and how do we perceive our roles in the world? What makes us become a 5 star student or a tweeny stabber? It transcends class and economic status and it's not going away. The Isreali reaction has been criticised by some:

'"Our rules of engagement are more permissive than restrictive, but when you have a trembling girl with scissors in her hands, you don't need to riddle her with ten bullets. You could kick her or shoot her in the leg," a Senior IDF commander says, "We learned a lesson from both intifadas – Palestinian deaths cause outbursts of violence.”

As Israeli novelist and playwright, A.B. Yehoshua wrote recently:
"(Netanyahu) has condemned, expressed anger, threatened to take retaliation steps and promised that Israel's security forces are capable of overcoming the attack. But there is one thing he has failed to do: He has failed to turn to the young Palestinians in a human, direct manner, offering them hope, in a bid to stop the acts of murder and outline a possibility for a better future for them and for us."

Palestinian young people need some form of hope for their future to be worth something.

We're going to have to watch out, as Europeans, not to emulate the Israeli State's security example over securitisation and Islamophobia. It's a worry, as Europe swings back around to the right.

"Even if we really try, the settlements and the occupation in the Territories will not become legitimate thanks to radical Islamic terrorists who strike in the heart of Paris…Neither will the world agree to support the continuation of the occupation, the settlements and our control of the Palestinian people under the disguise of a global war on terror."
--Peace Now Secretary General, Yariv Oppenheimer, writes in a local paper that the attempt by the right-wing to gain a political profit at the expense of the dead and wounded in Paris is “nothing less than cheap demagogy.”

I went to Nablus with a great Palestinian guy from East Jerusalem who helped translate for me. When we got back we picked up his two little children from their nursery school. They chatted to me in Arabic and then looked at me suddenly with big brown eyes - wide with fear. 'Fi yehud fi al aqsa'. 'There are Jews at Al Aqsa (mosque)'. Bad media can easily twist young minds and encourage a perception that isn't entire.

Then I went out and about near Qalqilya in the West Bank to make some short films and take photographs for a land mine clearing organisation. The cool blue sky was tinged with a wintry pink and we set out to interview a farmer who can now return to his patch of land and care for his olive trees, with his grandchildren, without worrying about stepping on a mine.  'I love the olive tree like my son' said the grandfather, 'there is no monetary value to it as I love it with my heart.'





'The land is the privilege of the human being' said his 11 year old grandson, Karam.

Such depth of feeling towards their tiny sliver of precious land - constantly in threat of being taken from them as has happened to so many little plots around the occupied Palestinian territories, and  Israeli settlements built.

So their perception of their land is heartfelt, as its future is always in question. And the meaning grows as deep as the roots of their lovely trees.


And finally on to interview an 88 year old man with the clearest voice, and the sharpest memories, about how he laid these mines with the Jordanian army in the 1950s. He sat there, his wife beside him, explaining how he couldn't have known back then that these land mines intended for their enemy, Israel, would be littered around their own lands nearly 70 years on.

Here he is with his lady who he married when he was 18.










Petits fours

For a few weeks now the Pea has smelled of cake, having been present in her chair in the kitchen during a bake off which has lasted from Rashimi's birthday on November 16th to the Christmas fair, carol concerts and now Christmas itself.

Having a baby in the house changes the atmosphere. Like a little sprite they create a warmth to the place quite different from humans of larger sizes. Babyhood is a tiny mouthful of sweetness - a petit four - which everyone knows will last just a blink, so everyone savours it. And everyone wants to draw near and taste the magic.  The best bit about it is no matter which baby - they all have it. None is exempt.

And life is all about sweetness and cake with two dwarves and a petit four pastry petal unfurling herself to the world.

We have a 4 year old in the house again. So a spiderman party began the bake fest with a red and blue cake with web on the top. 'Jaden can't come 'cos he'th gone to 'Ganda' mused Rashimi. 'But Telmo is coming. Telmo speakth Bathque'. Telmo is from the Basque country and when he arrived in school he spoke no English, and not even Spanish. Just Basque. He comes over and dresses up in Rashimi's spare spiderman suit and they weave little webs together. They have their own way of communicating.

And veering a little between squabbles and love, the Lozenge makes his brother a heart felt card saying: 'I love yuo. Hapiy Bufdai. 4 ***** uruaay!

With a Christmas tree, even though it still wasn't quite December, and flowers.

Because of course, it's been Christmas since May in our household but now the real countdown has finally begun, and the dwarves have had no trouble taking on elf status.

And any excuse for a bake off or any creative activity with a sprinkling of snowflakes:



to translate: 'Theis is crismus santaclos is fline froo dier ho ho ho. D end'

What our festive hutch advent calendar from auntie Rosie should have looked like: 



Our more authentic Pal Shack:



The roof began to droop after some enthusiastic scattering of snowflakes. That's the trouble with a flat roof in a snowy land.







Tuesday 1 December 2015

Spiderman in Golan


Lake Galilee

The Pea's first voyage

'No morning is a morning without a newspaper, coffee and Fairuz,' said Nasser as he negotiated his rattling taxi down the winding route 443 to Ben Gurion airport. Fairuz is probably still one of the most popular musical icons for Palestinians. Her nimble Arabic vocals cascaded up and down against a backing of crackling strings as we drove between the separation wall: white Israeli settlements on one side, and a scruffy Palestinian village, minarets piercing the skyline, on the other. Perhaps cultural icons are ever more important for a people without a state; and why one as old as Fairuz, can live on in people's hearts for so long.

The Pea's first voyage: London to meet her cousin Lochie, even newer than herself, leaving her dwarf brothers behind for a long weekend. The Lozenge had crawled into bed with us in the morning where I was feeding the Pea. 'I always find the warm patch,' he said, nudging us onto the cooler part of the sheet. 'Is she humming a tune?' he asked as he listened to her little feeding noises.

'Are you going to see Fergus in London?' I worried that the fact the Lozenge and Rashimi were not accompanying us on the whistle-stop visit might instigate tears. But no. 'You know what I can do, Mummy. I can make my eyes sort of turn inside and I can see Fergus in my head! He's wearing swimming shorts with sharks on. I miss him.'

We were leaving the dwarfs with the raven haired combo of St Grace and the Glammy who'd come for what must have seemed like a busman's holiday from her three nannying jobs in Amman. 'Being with your boys isn't work,' she said, 'honestly I come here for a break,' she explained, sitting at our kitchen table wearing her bright red mini mouse pyjamas, as she spooned Cheerios into Rashimi's mouth. Through the Cheerios, Rashimi explained: 'There ith a RED sea and there ith a DEAD sea. And the DEAD sea has no fish and that ith why it ith called DEAD. Totally DEAD with nothing ALIVE at ALL. Not even mermaidth.'

'Excuse me, Rashimi, but I was the one who introduced you to this country, and both of these seas, and this mermaid, and you're telling me all about them?' The Glammy teased, continuing her story about her as a mermaid taking the dwarfs to an underwater world.

The Glammy is still living in Amman with her Mum and new husband, neither of whom work. So she supports both of them and their smoking habits, with her three jobs a week. She's so tired that her hair is falling out, which is her body's usual way of saying she's overdoing it. 'It's like I'm my Dad now,' she said. Her father died when she was a teenager and as the oldest girl she's taken on the role of supporting her whole family. 'People take and they take, and then my husband complains about why I don't have the energy to go out in the evening, and complains about a scratch on his finger when I've just had five injections into my scalp to try and save my hair,' she shook her lustrous locks, which still looked thick compared to what I have on my head. But everything's relative. 'Honestly, I come to your house for a break as you're the only ones in my life who actually give anything back.'

Whatever the reason, I was glad of her presence in the house during these uncertain times. And through working for us over the last three years, the Glammy and St Grace have become firm friends. I'd stocked the fridge and cupboards with frozen pizza, popcorn and crisps and diet coke for the Glammy. The Pea and I drew out of our road in the cab, I waved at the boys walking to school with St Grace, their rain coats fastened tightly under the chin. 'Bye Mummy. Bye bunny floppy ears.'

I asked Nasser the taxi driver his take on the situation in this country - the daily attempted stabbing attacks, almost always culminating in Israeli soldiers shooting the Palestinian perpetrator dead. And in almost every case the perpetrator is a young Palestinian - the bud of a life - inspired by an internet 'how to' video, or by peers, convinced that their martyrdom is worth it. It's a tragic scenario, and as the incidents continue, the Israeli reaction becomes yet more determined and angry.

'It's very bad now,' Nasser explained. He's from a village called Ein Kerem now incorporated into West Jerusalem, and formerly an Arab village. 'When I was a boy we all lived together in my village. Muslims, Christians, Jews. Our houses were intermingled with each other. My father remembers the days when no Jew cooked during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan. They wouldn't even eat ca'ek (the sesame bread) in the street until the Muslims had broken their fast. We got along with each other better back then.'

'Haram' (a shame), he said, shaking his head. 'I don't want my children and my grandchildren to feel what I feel. And in my eyes Obama has been as bad as George Bush in his dealings with our state.'

As the Pea and I went through passport control, the pretty young Israeli official looked at the Pea's brand new passport. 'Congratulations on your new baby,' she said, peering over her counter to take a look at her in her pram. 'But why you go to Bethlehem in the West Bank to have your baby? The hospitals in Israel are much better.'

We boarded the flight and to my annoyance our seat was occupied. But I soon realised the occupier wasn't moving anywhere. A lady of at least 80 with a walking stick, accompanied by her daughter on her right, gave me a big smile and a shrug - pointing to her crippled looking feet. I also shrugged, in a slightly bolshy manner, and then of course we got talking. Inshira' and her mother were flying to Oaklahoma to visit Inshira's brother. They took Petra from my arms immediately and when they heard she was born in Bethlehem they laughed and said: 'Hieh Falasteenieh!' (She's Palestinian.)



I relinquished the childcare for a few minutes and the air hostess asked me if I wanted anything to drink. I looked at my watch and mumbled maybe a coke.

'Are you looking at your watch to see if you can have a drink yet?' said the hostess with a distinct Northern twang. 'I drink at any time of day when I'm flying. Go on, what would you really like?'

We were definitely homeward bound.

Inshira's Mum pointed at the clouds out of the window and asked her daughter: 'Telj?' (Snow?); as the Pea slept in her arms, and I sipped on a can of beer.

A promising start for any future travels with the Pea.




What ears?



Even with piglet in tow, the dwarfs found dressing up in time for book week at school a little too much at 7am.

A Jordanian farmer and Tigger were in the deepest doldrums.

'I don't like my taaaaaaaaail! I don't like my taaaaaaaail Mummy I want to take it off.' Rashimi whined all the way to the car as we set out. But that tail was my piece de resistance, with an unravelled coat hanger inside so it bounced, just like Tigger's. No way it was coming off.




So I had to lure them with car sweets...and I was thankful that at least one member of the tribe was not wailing, hasn't tasted a sweet in her toothless state, and didn't seem to notice her ears.



What ears?


Luckily I found one of my favourite Skandis at the entrance to the school whose son was having an equally large tantrum about his viking helmet which she had been up all night crafting. We fell upon each other and quaffed coffee, laughing hysterically.

Since meeting my lovely clutch of Skandi friends here, I've been wanting to join their club. Now I need to check out my DNA.

Maybe I really am a viking?